Funny Quotes

"Hillary Clinton says it takes a village to raise a child. I've seen the village; and I don't want it raising my child." - unknown

Friendship is like peeing on yourself:  everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings -unknown

If you die in an elevator be sure to push the up button -unknown

"Fragile. Do not drop." --posted on a Boeing 757

"Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle." -Bob Hope 


"A hippie is someone who looks like Tarzan, walks like Jane and smells like Cheetah." -Ronald Reagan 


"I never think of the future - it comes soon enough."- Albert Einstein 

    ...compliments of random websites, and magazines