In Shape

Well, it had to happen.... I was eliminated,  I mean I am disappointed and motivated at the same time which is kind of weird.  I will miss being at a gym, so I will just have to figure out a way to get the same effective workout but at home.  Luckily I learned some tips from Micah that will stick.  

By the way I want to say thanks to KDUV, I mean really, talk about a station that cares about the public, in every way, thanks for choosing me.

And InShape, so awesome, the staff, the equipment, the literature; it was truly the best gym experience I have ever had, and when our company picks up again, that will be the first place I'll go.  Thanks Sky for the opportunity and for being encouraging.

And Micah... seriously Devil Dog, you are awesome, motivating, and inspiring.  Thank you for educating me and helping two lose 2 pants size.... that is awesome!  I have never had results like this... ever.

Thank you, to my new friends and blog followers and to those who read my journey and ramblings, thanks for encouraging me. 

Now I know that this sounds like goodbye... but really if you haven't noticed, I am a talker, so I will be back tomorrow.

 

Pity Party table for one

Part 1
So, I am coming off a TERRIBLE weekend! My internet went out on Friday morning and they sent one out next day delivery, only UPS doesn't deliver on Saturdays so I just got it in. I felt so handicapped without it, couldn't do alot of things for my events coming up, and I couldn't play WoW! But... silver lining I got the rest of my gardening done, and mowed the lawn, and worked on some other projects. YEAH!

Part 2
On Saturday, I was parking the van when I heard a CLUNK... no biggie, just "old car CLUNK" which should have been the warning sign cause it is only a "middle aged car" as it turns out, a bolt sheared on the front end causing it to smash into the motor. But... silver lining, the heater hose was there to potential lesson the damage, which we will find out when we are able to order the $30 special order hose and the rest of the parts needed!  and of course the alignment is way out... yeah?

Anyhoo,  waa waa poor me, everything always works out.

Call to Artists: Art in the Park

Art Festival Seeks Artists
3rd Annual Art in the Park - June 13, 2009

REGISTRATION BEGINS NOW!

The Art in the Park Committee is looking for visual and performing
artists in all media,
for the 3rd annual Art in the Park Festival, from 10 a.m -3 p.m.,
June 13, 2009 at Recreation Park in Visalia.

Original works of fine art in all mediums, including ceramics, fiber,
glass, jewelry, painting, digital art, photography, printmaking,
sculpture, wood and mixed media. Artists, art organizations, clubs,
non-profits and original work art galleries are encouraged to apply.
Scholarships are available.

We are also seeking, musicians, dancers, theatrical performers,
poetry for a poetry slam, and storytellers for our performing arts area.

Artists who are selected and wish to participate will be required to
submit, a $40.00 fee for their booth which is a 10' x 20' space, see
guidelines and application form for all details.



Guidelines and Application for the 3rd annual Art in the Park are
available for download from our website at www.huffartcenter.org
follow the Art in the Park link.

You may also obtain information by calling Huff Art Center
(559) 723-4833, or e-mail us at info@huffartcenter.org

Weigh in!

Well suffice to say I am not happy... but I think we have already determined that I am just to hard on myself...  I mean I get that by now.  I have lost inches, and body fat, but I just want it to be more... I am ready to shop for smaller pants.

I finally can squeeze into a medium... and I mean squeeze... but I am getting there!

An amazing discovery....

So this morning as I was getting ready, I discovered something... only 1.5 chins! YES! I was actually excited, cause the term "double chin" never applied it was more like "double chins" It is amazing.  

I have been really hard on myself... because so many people have been telling me how great I look, and how much weight I have lost.  But when I look in the mirror, I just don't see it!  Which is a little weird, I am smaller, I am more active, I feel better, all the numbers says different, but I still look the same in the mirror, I still feel big.    

That is a red flag for me, I pray alot.  I don't want to feel this way forever, I want to feel good.  I am glad I went to True Campaign because at least I am aware of this self esteem issue.   Awareness is at least half the battle.  

Maybe I am just having a few bad days.... need to get out of the funk.

What's in a Name?

This morning, while listening to KDUV, I heard Dale's concern about tripping up with his son's name. Dale, don't be so hard on yourself, I do the same thing with my daughter sometimes. It will only get worse. Growing up it was the same thing, my grandma would call me my mom's name, then my aunt's name... eventually getting down to mine. It was fine, and now funny. think of it as giving a fun memory and adding to the list of things they will raz you about.

Don't be so hard on yourself, parenting is a learning experience, and I think they grade on a curve.

Brain Cramps

You know when you loose your train of thought mid-sentence... well a friend was doing that this Sunday and said "oh man Brain Cramp" I nearly died laughing... and that's hard to do in church, without causing a scene. Now I know what to call them.

Anyhoo, my schedule has changed a bit, with the hubby's new work schedule so, this week I will attempt to bring that under control, while fighting the urge to just take the day off. But there is deadlines to meet, so that is just not my reality.

I am going to add an art project of the week so that we can start having some fun together.... so keep an eye out for that.

Group therapy....

Well it was group therapy yesterday... I am paying for it now! I am hurting pretty bad. I like how creative Micah is... everytime we have gone in it has been a different workout. Which is cool. And they usually are something that can be done without an expensive machine, or waiting for a machine. Which at In-Shape that has not been a problem for me. They have a ton of them, everywhere.

All in all, it has been really good... I am excited it was funny, I was at a customers shop a few days ago. And they were like "WOW! have you lost weight." and I was at another place and I kept hearing "you look really good" all the time. Which is really exciting, but also makes me realize that I must have been feeling/looking really bad.

Last night I was at True Campaign:

The True Campaign exists to end the crisis of distorted self image by challenging cultural ideals about identity and beauty, so we can be free to impact our world as God intended... www.truecampaign.org

It was awesome. I really liked it. I feel like I am getting there, not so much about the losing weight, but more about, finding that place where I feel good again. I am getting there. I mean the pain is there and is something to deal with for a long time. But I fell into a depression, not liking myself, not believing in anything, always trying way so hard and feeling just as bad afterward; so why not indulge in the things that did make me feel good. food.

I am a food addict, I really love to eat, I eat when I am full, I eat when I am angry, or upset, I eat whenever there is food around me. I may not be as bad as some, thank God for that, so back off Dr Phil. I didn't realize just how much damage I was doing... the good news is yesterday I was at a meeting and it just didn't go well, so I went out to lunch... but the good news is, it was a salad bar. So, bad for the reasons, but a better choice none-the less...

I tell myself, well it is better than when I was doing... I was a raging alcoholic, a few years ago. But really... is it better, sure in some ways, not as much, but both have the same psychological reasons. Why? Why do I feel this way? Why will I never feel loved enough? Why do I push so hard? Why do I keep doing it, when I know that I shouldn't?

Well the one thing I can tell you is that it is one day at a time. One good choice after another. Don't rush, don't be so hard on myself.

Go Team Visalia!

I can't even believe it.

The Inshape challenge elimination was announced, and that's when I burst into tears... I have been waiting all day yesterday and then this morning... for the announcement hoping and praying it wasn't me. Then they announced it someone from Visalia, I nearly got sick, then they said someone else's name. I burst into tears joy and sadness, which confused my husband (you think he would be used to it).

She is such a awesome person and to think that on thursday she won't be there is so upseting. She is a motivator, and cheers us on! I love her for that and for her enthusiasm, and she looks great and working hard. I just don't know what to say or think I am still upset.

Crazy

Well guys, things have been sporadic here lately, sorry about that.  Between being sick, deadlines, and the conference... I am whipped!  

I am waiting here trying to be patient and relaxed while waiting for the results for the challenge.  It's funny because I have grown to look forward to and like going to the gym, and if I am eliminated I will no longer be going... but the hard part is that if I am not eliminated, then someone else will, and then oh gosh what if it is someone on my team.... 

The pressure of wanting to keep going, and encourage your friends.... awwww!

I'm Back

Hi everyone... well I just got back from my mini conference.  You know what stinks about a conference at the beach... you don't have time to play!   Imagine all those waves and beautiful, and being penned up in a hotel room working.

Anyhoo!  I feel rejuvenated, armed with lots of new ideas and classes for the shelter program.  I did okay on my healthy eating these last 2 days, chose fruit and yogurt for breaky, and ate salad and only 1 slice of pizza for lunch....  I thought my little "cheat" was going to be hard, but it was greasy on my stomach and it started to hurt a little....  so maybe not do that anymore.  I worked out in my room and took a really long walk, I forgot my workout clothes so I didn't run.  All in all I am sure I ate more than normal or at least my cal's were up but not like usual. 

I give myself a B

Hi all

Well I am mostly back.... I still feel bad but I can tell its on it's way out the door.  I missed days at the gym!!! I am freaking out about that.  Except for a couple of bad meal choices I think I did okay.  I am very worried though, I shouldn't have pushed anyway, but I was so whiney.  

Its not a myth my 12's are on and they still fit, and not the lay down in bed, take a deep breathe, and stretch back real far, muffin top kind of fit either.  Just put them on and go.  I am looking forward to those falling off my body as well too!

It's funny cause since this cold is out the door, I went to the gym yesterday.  My initial thought was, well I have been out for a bit, so this is going to be hard... so I set the level higher and the timer higher, and I did it.  It wasn't bad, I was dripping with sweat, but I didn't feel bad!

And I would like to send a special thank you to Kim & Lisha for being supportive to me, on Group Thursday, I was having a melt down kind of day.  Thanks for the hugs and prayers.

Sick, Sick, Sick

I have been hit with that horrible thing going around.  I feel so awful.  I will update everyone soon. on 

Dodged a bullet

Well, I made it through elimination, but only for a drop.  At first when I saw that I am in like last place overall, I was  completely depressed.  I haven't had a Soda since Feb 1st... and except for 5 bad days total last month I have eating really well, even at Mardi Gras celebration, I had a taco, my first red meat since Feb 6th.  I have been going to the gym nearly every day (except 4 days in the last month) 

So I was depressed a little, cause I am like cut me a break man.... what else!  But the good news I started this thing in a size 16, tight (you know those supposed "relaxed" fit jeans not so stretchy anymore)  Now I am putting on my first size 12's since alot of years.... 

I don't know exactly what that means, in terms of the challenge, but to me it means more shopping, and now I have to work even harder which makes me feel challenged and a little overwhelmed, and a little teary, this is my last chance at gym workouts, since that won't even come close to fitting our budget.  I am looking at alternatives for home workouts, so I can continue to work out after this is all over.  wish me luck.

So in celebration of my pity party, I went out and ran 1.5 miles...  

Mystery Meat Monday: Heck of a deal! Subway

Now, I am sure you have heard it... Subways any sub for $5.  This works because their bread is real good, and they have healthy choices.  Really who can pass up lunch for 2 people for $5.  Because I am watching my cal-intake I always order the turkey I get mustard no mayo or oil and it is not bad.  

Before the calorie-watch I would get the chicken/bacon/ranch.  Not so healthy, as some of the other choices, but uber good.... mmmm

So this is my short and sweet Mystery Meat.....