health, and me time

Well I am in the middle of getting some testing done. I have had chest pains and so far we haven't figured them out yet. I am hoping that this new series of test will offer some sort of explanation. I don't like uncertainties and especially with my health. I have so many issues now that I am just not interested in having more. But when you play hard, and maybe not take care of yourself as you should have, then there are consequences for that.

I am hopeful and pray that things are going to be fine, or at least answered

Got it!

Well I got my speech therapy program and I am excited. I will be starting first thing! I decided to not bombard her this summer I want her to have fun, so it won't be 5 days a week as I originally planned.

I'll admit that part of that is me also not wanting to have 5 days a week of speech therapy either. I want her memories of hanging out with mom to be filled with fun stuff too! Is that selfish... probably a little :-)

rambling alert! rambling alert! Restaurant City game!

Well I have been playing farmtown for a long time... and I love it! but a friend posted it on their facebook and well now I am hooked. There is no crazy repetition so far like in farmtown so maybe it will won't hurt my fingers so much. You know all those first farm then till then plant. I haven't been back cause lets face it there is only so many things I can concentrate on at a time. Who knows now that I am talking about it maybe I will head back to it today...

So that is my mindless activity for now... we will see what happens.

Crossroads, Confusion, and Chocolate

Well lately I have been wildly aware of my lack of focus.   I have tried many times to "sit and listen" you know be calm and listen to my heart... to God, but I just can't get my mind to stop turning.  I understand that this is what I need to do, but how!  How is it possible for me to sit for even 5 minutes, cause when I do I am flooded and find as if a thousand voices are screaming and talking at once.  

Now before you make a call to a mental facility.... understand that I like my voices.  And maybe I like this lack of peace, most of the time.  Or am I  afraid of the quiet... who knows really, I don't.  I do know that I wish I had direction or focus.  I am afraid of the future because it seems so clouded and unsure.  

I would like to be able to finish a couple of projects I started that I think are good, like my book for instance.  But it got a little personal, and I began to have fear for some of those drudged little things... However, I have this desire to do it, but fear to do it and have taken a break, lack of focus for the original reasons I started doing it.  I am guessing anyhow.  

I am in this medical limbo which is probably what kicked off this sudden life moment.  Can't really do anything till we figure out what is going on.  I haven't truly committed to anything here lately, kind of sticking my feet in but not really diving in and committing to task.  This is all new for me, I have always been a fully committed kind of gal (not white coat committed...not yet)  I feel like I am living in a waiting for the other shoe to drop kind of world.

I know that I can't live like this, not with any kind of quality, so the question is  what do I do.  I am not completely sure of the  answer because I keep answering with regards to how it affects other people.  I listen to Dave Ramsey alot, something that would have the teenage version of me mortified... but he said something recently to a man on the show that got me thinking....  it was reference to a man who was wanting advice for starting a business,  simply put "don't do it unless it is something that you can't wait to do when you wake up and the last thing you think of when you go to sleep at night"  I don't really have that... at all, unless it is something I am "chewing on" at the moment.

I think the answer lies within that, I just have to somehow find it, find me, in all this craziness! 

VBS & summer church activities... thanks Crossroads church

Here is a list generated by Crossroads Church or local VBS and church activities....  this is what is left for the summer

What:  Summer Movie Madness

When: Thursday afternoons from June 25 – July 30 (1:00 PM-3:00 PM)

Where: New Hope Church

Ages: 1^st Grade – 6^th Grade

Cost: Free

Contact: Raylene, 636-8733

July:

1What: Extreme Makeover, Bible Edition

When: July 12^th – July 16^th (5:00 PM – 8:00 PM)

Where: Christ Lutheran Church (3830 W. Tulare Ave.)

Ages: Birth – 100 years old

Cost: Free (includes a meal)

Contact: 732-1851 or office@clcvisalia.org

 

2.       What: Outback Jack (Stillwaters Ranch)

When: July 13^th – July 17^th (6:00 PM – 8:30 PM)

Where: Calvary Chapel (11720 Ave. 264)

Ages: 3 years old – 6^th Grade

Cost: Free

Contact: Pastor Mike, 687-0220 or mikebuford@calvarychapel.com

 

3.       What: Naz Sports Camp

When: July 27 – July 31 (8:30 AM – 12:15 PM)

Where: Visalia Nazarene Church (3333 W. Caldwell)

Ages: 4 – 12 years old

Cost: $85.00 per child

Contact: Dee Flynn, 734-1117

 

 

 

 

 

4.       What: CKidz Miracles Preschool Camp (Crossroads Community Church)

When: July 31^st (8:00 AM – 10:30 AM)

Where: Adventure Park

Ages: 3 years to Kindergarten

Contact: Barb Shy, 280-0172 or Barb@visaliacrossroads.com

 

August:

1.       What: CKidz Crazy Camp (Crossroads Community Church)

When: August 3 – August 7 (8:00 AM – 10:30 AM)

Where: Adventure Park

Ages:  1^st  Grade– 6^th Grade

Contact: Barb Shy, 280-0172 (Barb@visaliacrossroads.com)

 

 

I'm Back!

yeah the computer is fixed and I am back... I am amazed at just how dependent I am on this thing.  The irony of this broken computer issue is that after it broke, and I took it to the Mac genius; I turned to my back up windows computer and that same day the monitor was so fuzzy that I couldn't read the screen, and there was no way I was dumping anymore money into windows again.  So I spent most of this time squinting and zooming the screen 300% 

Well this weekend we got Mac back plugged her in and now the windows computer is perfectly fine!  I guess windows missed Mac too!

Oh and by the way Mac fixed my computer for free... again... and this is with an expired warranty!

Quickie: Food Pyramid Menu Planner

Found this little menu planner based on the food chart, plan you meals and it spells it out in a graph.  A good way to see just exactly how much you are getting in each food group.  

http://www.mypyramidtracker.gov/planner/

Home Based Speech Therapy Program! by NATHHAN

GOD is so AWESOME... I had been wanting a copy of the home based speech therapy program... Straight Talk. But it is on the pricey side, for our budget. Long story shorter... I am getting a copy for $20 woo hoo

NATHHAN National Challenged Homeschoolers Associated Network.  According to their website there goal and purpose is: To encourage homeschooling families with special needs children, in ways that glorify the Lord Jesus Christ and equip parents to confidently raise their children with special needs or disabilities.

I have heard nothing but raving reviews and no-one is selling/letting go of there used copies.  So I am excited that the company is helping us out.  

For more information 

Christian Families Homeschooling Special Needs Children http://www.nathhan.com/

http://starwoodlearningprogram.blogspot.com/

Search... Search... and more Search

Well search engines might seem like a rather dry subject... but, I saw a commercial the other day and I thought.  REALLY another way to search... I used to swear by dogpile.com.  Its a meta search, which is basically summarizes the best of all the major searches.  Until I was google-ized; which only happened because "googled" became an action word, you know like post it or coke (even though we all know we want a nice refreshing Pepsi)  

Well I was intriqued by the commercial, so I checked it out.  I did I side by side search on the two, and I really like the way that bing looks easy on the eyes with a big beautiful photograph that changes so the artist in me loves it. 

I don't think it searches any better it certainly looks better and I think I will probably like it more when I figure out out to get them to pick up my websites :-)

Worries and Woas

Do you ever see someone you love, who suddenly their behavior radically changes, decisions are different,  you watch them crash and crash.  You try to stay on the sidelines hoping that it will be okay...  Its like a car crash in slow motion.  Do you yell out in time to try and stop it.

Well I learned that when you do and the person doesn't see anything is wrong... it doesn't go well.  No matter how many people agree with you, it does not matter.  This explosion occurred through an innocent situation that turned far out of control way to fast.

I am afraid for her, she doesn't see it the same way as we all do, and I get that, because sometimes when a behavior or concern is brought to my attention, I didn't even notice it myself.  So I get that she probably doesn't see what we all see.  Is it best to stay out of it,  Do you say something, How do you do it without seeming like your attacking the person.

I wish she saw what we saw.   I miss her and I'm sad because now our relationship is tarnished, for how long I don't know.  I miss the kids, I wish they weren't brought in to it.  It's too late to wonder and wish, the bottom is hit and we can only go up.