Funeral of the "I can'ts"

Recently I did a class called "the Funeral of the I can'ts" The purpose of the project is to help each woman realize how much strength it took to leave her abuser and come into the shelter. To affirm that she took the power with her when she left. To say “goodbye” to her “I Cant’s” — the fears she faces as she thinks about building a new life (I can’t drive, I can’t get a job, I can’t find a place to live, etc.) We start in a circle, all holding hands, and ask the question... "What have you accomplished or done in your life, that at the time you didn't think you could do" Opening Circle: As we went around the room, there was stories of women who "stopped doing drugs", "quit drinking", "I left the person who beat me up", ... there was tears and there was laughter. Art Time: We all sat down, we talked about the fears of leaving the shelter, and "anything you felt you could not accomplish before entering the shelter" We journalized this question "Is there anything you felt afraid of or felt that you couldn’t do?", "Can anyone think of any “I Cant’s” you felt when you arrived here?" We talked about how to use our experiences of the past for the future. It was a quiet moment as everyone began writing down on a piece of paper her list of the “I Cant’s.”) Each woman had an opportunity to read her list if she wanted to everyone, some took part others didn't. Each woman began to shred her “I Cant’s” in the shredder, and saves the shredded paper. Then took that paper and creates an art piece from it. What I loved about the projects was how they used those pieces of paper. Some used them as roots on a tree saying "those things made them stronger" or "my can'ts are the leaves falling off of me, so I can continue to be strong" There was a boat that was made of the I can't shreds in a tumultuous sea scene that one woman said "I will use these things to arrive to my new place, where I am confident and successful"